Harsh Gautam Speaks: A letter to Mr.Ratan Tata

To,

Mr. Ratan Tata,

Honorable Chairman

Tata Group

Address-Not available

Sub-Self-recommendation letter for the post of Chairman of Tata Group.

Sir,

    This application is without any reference coz I don’t have any. I just heard from my cousin Bunty that you are in search of your successor. So being a responsible citizen it was my duty to help you. I know you must be thinking on many names but now the time has come when you should give it a serious thought and without any more suspense I would like to strongly recommend my own name for this post. I request you to kindly conduct the interview and other formalities ASAP, later I won’t be responsible for my association with Birlas or Ambanis as they are coaxing me to join them.

    You will surely ask about my educational background. Hmmm…Mr. Tata I don’t have any specific qualification. I wanted to study abroad, but my national representatives (politicians, cricketers, businessmen, film stars) deposited all my money in Swiss bank saying it is for my future. I fought with Govt. of India for my 2.86 Lack Crores and then they assured me that they will bring it back to India in sometime (don’t know how much). So in near future I’ll be completing my masters (specialization as per your group’s requirement). So somehow I could complete my B.A.(with history) coz my college didn’t have faculties to teach Science and Commerce. Mr. Tata, you will appreciate that ‘’Chanakya’’ had also not studied at IIM but he was the master of all time (some people say he had written Kamasutra by the name of Vatsyayan. Bizarre, he neither had a girlfriend nor got married).

    Mr. Tata, now come to other points, I know you want a person whom you can rely on and who should be truthful to you. So sir, plz acknowledge that I grew up eating your salt…I mean ‘Tata Salt’ so I’ll never betray you.

    What do I know about your group? Hmmm… not everything but I’ve heard from ‘Kashinath-the truck driver’ that you are the largest manufacturer of trucks. And yes I’ve seen some of them (sometimes some truck drivers hit dividers in tipsiness but I know you can’t impede them from driving…sorry boozing). My brother does have a Tata Nano, which he bought in installments and never lets me touch it. Sir, a request to you please provide some discount coupons of Westside (if you have in spare) as I can’t afford a shirt worth Rs. 2000 coz it’s more than my monthly grocery budget. I was using Tata Indicom for 3 years and one day you launched Tata Docomo, so being your loyal brand follower I switched to it (actually it was for cheaper…sorry economical call rates). And yeah, my dad had an insurance policy of Tata AIG but it got lapsed in first year itself due to our fund problems.

    Sir, I would like to congratulate you for buying ‘Jaguar Motors,’ actually I was also interested in that deal but my friend Bablu told it won’t be profitable, so I gave up.

    Mr. Tata, these things can be discussed later as well. So let me tell you about my family background. Unfortunately I’ve not born with any powerful surname behind my name and I couldn’t do anything. In my school I’d always been recognized (actually humiliated) by Pandey Sir after getting failed in exams, “Son of Tata needs not to worry, he has enough for survival” and I always used to lost in hallucination of being born with that tag. My father could only become a primary school teacher coz he too was poor and lazy. My mother was a perfect match to him as she meticulously was confined in domestic chores and three of her children. Rest of my uncles, aunties, grandpa and grand-mom are same as us, so no need to mention them.

    According to me what is India’s biggest problem? Hmmm… Inflation…No its not. Coz prime minister says it’s under control and I can’t oppose such a big man. I think Salman-Katerina’s break up; Shahid-Priyanka’s patch up and Raja Chaudhary’s new melodrama are the combustible issues in India, as all news channels dribble away 5-6 episodes in a week on it. I don’t think Arushi’s Murder Case is as gigantic as the question that, ‘Who is sexier-Munny or Sheila?’

    About my G.K.? Sir, I know how much M.S.Dhoni charges to play in IPL but don’t know whether entire Indian hockey team has got its remuneration paid. I know Mallika Sherawat gets 1.5 crore per item song but don’t know whether many of school girls would attain their 10th standard due to financial problems. I know about the Khan War in bollywood but don’t know whether our defense minister has taken enough corrective measures to protect us from enemy neighboring countries. And finally, I know A.Raja received Rs. 3,000 crore as bribe for 2G scam but don’t know how many zeros 3000 crore contains. Let it be sir, I know you are not interested in all this.

    My awareness about international issues? Well, sir global warming is ascending everyday and my previous boss used to say it’s coz of fagging (having a fag in his fingers). Egypt has finally got the freedom and now army will rule the nation. America is the most powerful country but its president is wandering around the world to generate jobs for youth (he came to me as well, while his visit of India).

    My social awareness? Sir, I know sugar is the costliest necessity for common man but fail to understand why the farmers who produce sugarcane commit suicide every here and there? I know patriotic movies are free from entertainment tax but waiting when India will get tax free education system. I read India’s per capita income is 44000 Rs but why our office’s peon still gets 2500 Rs per month?

    What will be my action plans for the betterment of Tata Group and the country? Hmmm….Mr. Tata, I know you love your country, me too, especially on national holidays. So I’ll take following actions for the betterment of Indian economy and that will lead Tata Group to get strengthen-

    ·First of all I’ll request Indian Govt. to ban ‘The Great Khali’ to eat half of eggs of nation, it will definitely solve some food problem and people will start thinking to buy cars (at least a Nano).

    ·I’ll seek help of Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to order Domino’s to add extra salt (or some salt) in their pizzas and I’ll gift them one sample pack of Tata Salt each. It will definitely enhance our sells.

    ·I’ll hire tea vendors at high (mental) pressure areas as insurance, banking, finance, sales, marketing, pharmaceutical and stock market. Vendors will serve Tata Tea to these frustrated people and our sales will grow up.

    ·I’ll request all CEO’s of every company and Govt. of India to tighten time punctuality (especially for politicians), I’ll open Titan Outlets (punctuality needs proper watches) in front of all offices and will run exchange offers. It will increase our sales.

    ·I’ll slash down tariff of all Tata hotels and will provide the best facilities in reduced rates. When people will get habituated of our services will increase the tariff again for profit (as Sunny Deol increased his prices after Gadar-later I have heard he is working for his dad absolutely free).

    Mr. Tata rest of my services and plans for your other business ventures will completely depend on my salary and perks. I would like to assure you that Rs. 200-300 won’t come on our way to work together, I’m ready for negotiation. And yeah, as I’m not from Mumbai so one suit in Hotel Taj will be enough for me to give rest to my mind and work better for you. I know a car (not Nano), mobile connection (preferably an !d..) and other facilities you will provide your own as a good employer.

    Sir, you have already consumed much of my time. I’ve to offer my services to other business houses too (coz I’ve no job in hand since stock market got crashed).

    Huff… one last thing don’t take a decision in haste discuss with your family and friends. I will be obliged to give you an opportunity to have a cup of tea n (coffee’ I can’t offer) with me.

Yours sincerely (If hired)

A Common Man

Indian Republic

Address-No one wants to know

India's answer to the world after Obama's visit.

          When on 6th of November world’s most powerful leader’s Air Force one landed at Mumbai airport with forty planes and six armored cars, it was the 'biggest ever by a US President'

          Everyone was dumfounded, many people found Indian politician tiny in front of him, but these three days of Barack Husain Obama’s stay in India have changed entire world’s perception for India and compelled the most powerful president to say that he has created 50,000 jobs back home.

          The US President's statement that India would now be "treated the same as our closest allies and partners" should lay to rest Indian concerns that the Indo-US relationship may languish under the Obama regime.

          It was important for Obama to establish that the US would continue to prioritize relations with India, and not allow the Afghanistan-Pakistan agenda to bog down US-India ties, Obama seems to have achieved this objective, having handled very carefully expected questions on the US relationship with Pakistan.

          Obama made a good case for how expanding US-India investment and trade ties will benefit the US economy. He provided more finessed remarks on the outsourcing issue than he has in the past, explaining that it is not a one-dimensional issue and that each side should focus more on the mutual benefits gained from their economic linkages.

           "India is not just a rising power, it has already risen. Its economy has risen at a breathtaking rate... we look forward to a greater role for India at the world stage," he said, recalling the joint efforts between the two countries at a grouping of the world's 20 top economies (G20).

          Painting a picture of the US economy and the mood of the people, he said: "unemployment in the US is very high now... so people are frustrated... one of the most wonderful things about democracy is that when people are not happy, they have a right to express their unhappiness."

          I thank you for the great honor of addressing the representatives of more than one billion Indians and the world's largest democracy. I bring the greetings and friendship of the world's oldest democracy the U.S.A, including nearly three million proud and patriotic Indian Americans.

          What impression he got from his visit can be underatood by his final speech at parliament's joint session, he said- ‘‘Over the past three days, my wife Michelle and I have experienced the beauty and dynamism of India and its people. From the majesty of Humayun's Tomb to the advanced technologies that are empowering farmers and women who are the backbone of Indian society. From a Diwali celebration with schoolchildren to the innovators who are fueling India's economic rise. From the university students who will chart India's future, to you leaders who helped to bring India to this moment of promise, at every stop, we have been welcomed with the hospitality for which Indians have always been known. So to you and the people of India, on behalf of me, Michelle and the American people, please accept our deepest thanks. ‘Bahoot dhanyavad.’

          My confidence in our shared future is grounded in my respect for India's treasured past, a civilization that has been shaping the world for thousands of years. Indians unlocked the intricacies of the human body and the vastness of our universe. And it is no exaggeration to say that our information age is rooted in Indian innovations, including the number zero.

          An ancient civilization of science and innovation, a fundamental faith in human progress, this is the sturdy foundation upon which you have built ever since that stroke of midnight when the tricolor was raised over a free and independent India. And despite the skeptics who said that this country was simply too poor, too vast, too diverse to succeed, you surmounted overwhelming odds and became a model to the world.

          Instead of slipping into starvation, you launched a Green Revolution that fed millions. Instead of becoming dependent on commodities and exports, you invested in science, technology and in your greatest resource ‘the Indian people.’ The world sees the results, from the supercomputers you build to the Indian flag that you put on the moon.

          Instead of resisting the global economy, you became one of its engines reforming the licensing raj and unleashing an economic marvel that has lifted tens of millions from poverty and created one of the world's largest middle classes.
          Instead of succumbing to division, you have shown that the strength of India, the very idea of India is its embrace of all colors, castes and creeds. It's the diversity represented in this chamber today. It's the richness of faiths celebrated by a visitor to my hometown of Chicago more than a century ago, the renowned Swami Vivekananda. He said that, "Holiness, purity and charity are not the exclusive possessions of any church in the world, and that every system has produced men and women of the most exalted character."

          And instead of being lured by the false notion that progress must come at the expense of freedom, you built the institutions upon which true democracy depends, free and fair elections, which enable citizens to choose their own leaders without recourse to arms; an independent judiciary and the rule of law, which allows people to address their grievances; and a thriving free press and vibrant civil society which allows every voice to be heard. And this year, as India marks 60 years with a strong and democratic constitution, the lesson is clear: India has succeeded, not in spite of democracy; India has succeeded because of democracy.

          Together, the United States and India can pursue our goal of securing the world's vulnerable nuclear materials. We can make it clear that even as every nation has the right to peaceful nuclear energy, every nation must also meet its international obligations and that includes the Islamic Republic of Iran. And together, we can pursue a vision that Indian leaders have espoused since independence, a world without nuclear weapons.

          In your lives, you have overcome odds that might have overwhelmed a lesser country. In just decades, you have achieved progress and development that took other nation’s centuries. And now you are assuming your rightful place as a leader among nations. Your parents and grandparents imagined this. Your children and grandchildren will look back on this. But only you this generation of Indians can seize the possibility of this moment.

          We believe that no matter where you live whether a village in Punjab or the by lanes of Chandni Chowk, an old section of Kolkata or a new high-rise in Bangalore, every person deserves the same chance to live in security and dignity, to get an education, to find work, and to give their children a better future.

          As you carry on with the hard work ahead, I want every Indian citizen to know: the United States of America will not simply be cheering you on from the sidelines. We will be right there with you, shoulder to shoulder, because we believe in the promise of India and we believe that the future is what we make it.

          This is the story of India; it's the story of America, that despite their differences, people can see themselves in one another, and work together and succeed together as one proud nation. And it can be the spirit of the partnership between our nations, that even as we honor the histories which in different times kept us apart, even as we preserve what makes us unique in a globalized world, we can recognize how much we can achieve together.

          Thank you, Jai Hind! and long live the partnership between India and the United States."

          So every indian should feel proud that we are going to become ''Superpower'' in true senses very soon and congratulations for being an indian.

With Love,

Harsh

Love is above lust

What we think about love is not exactly that. Love can’t be named ‘Lust’. Love can’t be dictated until a true experience of one’s own. It’s a feeling that comes from within. It’s synchronization of two hearts. It’s an attitude which one has to wear. We live with a person for a long time but we fail to understand his/her characteristics, still we name it Love. Is it real one? Only living with a person does not mean that one is in love.

Is sex Love? Sex would be a way of expressing love, but sex can’t be exact meaning of love.

You see a girl, you like her magnificence, you get attracted towards her. You try to find your soul mate in her, you get closer to her, you express your affection and you think you are in love. One fine morning you wake up and realize, is this the same person I was looking for? And you get separated.

Friendship is the best way to understand a person. Partners never try to become good friends of each other; they feel hesitant to express their views and opinions, that’s why they fail to get felling of ‘Made for each other’. Love, if started as friends always attains higher levels, because you understand that person better, you come to know his/her likes and dislikes, you get clear idea what that person actually wants and then you get enormous opportunities to decide whether that person is made for you or not.

True friends can be great lovers, but once loved you can never become friend to same person.

Before commencing your love become good friends, understand better and then find your soul mate in that individual.


With Love,
Harsh